Home at Last!

After a 12 hour flight to LA, and a hour more to Salt Lake City, we made it home at midnight on Friday. Helena's new Aunt Kelly, Uncle Tyler,Nana and Granddad were there to greet us.

The transit went  extremely well and Helena was a very good little traveler. Our agency finished as strong as when they started, exceeding our expectations. Jason, our CCAI rep checked us in, worked out any last minute details with the airline, and escorted us to the security checkpoint with a big hug and well wishes for the New Year. After a little dinner on board, and with the help of Benadryl, a veterinarian (trained in administering medicine to small squirmy critters), and a bassinet attached to the bulkhead, Helena slept the next nine of the twelve hours on the long flight. With a wailing 3 year-old sharing the cabin with us, Helena's parents were not quite so lucky (Helena's seasoned orphanage ears could care less about the noise). 

Our arrival in LA, with immigration and customs also went smoothly. INS was extremely  courteous, efficient and helpful (as was the general service in the airport). I told Val it felt like everyone at LAX had just taken a customer service course.  

Aside from a small delay, we arrived in Salt Lake without a hitch and seeing my folks and sister and bro there to meet us was truly a very special moment Valerie and I will never forget. I get teary just thinking about it and I think the above image really caught the moment. 

The worst part of the whole journey (from beginning to end), was the thirty minute car ride to our house. We knew she would not like it, but Helena absolutely freaked over the car seat. She seriously balled for thirty minutes straight- we had never seen her that angry. Wow, good times ahead in the car I tell you. 

Our house was warm and welcoming and stocked with Mom's home cooking. We hunkered down for the weekend and started to recover from our colds and jet lag. Helena has taken to the place quite well. She likes her new room and all her new toys- especially her book collection. She seems to like her bed, even though the time change has been a real bear for her to break (hard on Mummy and Daddy too). She took a bath last night and absolutely had a blast. I think she would have stayed in all night, if we would have let her. 

Last night Helena helped me take down her match photo that has been on the back of our kitchen door since December 7th. She seemed to recognize her old self, but only for a minute, then she glance up at me with a quick little smirk and I knew what she was thinking...I'm not the same girl I was, when this photo was taken. 

We created this web log to give our families the opportunity to follow us along on our trip. We know from comments and emails that our family has grown well beyond our dreams. We have been touched with all of your well wishes and support. Thank you all for allowing us to share this amazing experience with you. It was truly a trip of a lifetime and we are excited for the next phase in our lives and the changes and challenges it is sure to bring. Val and I have not discussed the future of this blog. I suspect we will update it periodically with images of our family, especially our daughter as she continues to make us laugh and cry and worry and wonder and most importantly, count our many blessings.  Check back with us every so often. But for now, as they say in China, "bye, bye"

Ready to go

Well, we have our most precious cargo, and a few thousand other things nearly packed and we're ready to get home to Utah. The rest of the group has left already and are flying through Hong Kong. We tried to be as direct as possible by flying Guangzhou to LA, apparently with hundreds of other travelers. We have Benadryl and ibuprofen at the ready.

The chickenpox scare seems to have abated and at this point they are allowing travel...whew. I like China, but I don't want to live here. It's been the trip of a lifetime, one we will never forget. We can't wait for all of you to meet this little sweetie. She is changing very quickly so we must hurry home. Love to all.

Good, Bad, Sad

First, the good news. Our representatives went to the US consulate appointment for us today and everything cleared. Helena is officially our child. Yeah! We will do our swearing in at the consulate (as a group) tomorrow, but this is a small formality and after this we are free to leave the Peoples Republic of China. We have confirmed our airline reservation and we will be leaving Friday evening for Los Angeles.

Now the bad news. We may have mentioned it in a previous email, but there are a few children at this hotel with confirmed cases of chickenpox. At first there was one child, who we have actually seen. Now we hear there are at least two. These two families and the rest of the people in their travel group are now quarantined and can not visit the consulate for their swearing in until February 9th. We were told by our representative this afternoon that if anyone of our kids breaks out with the virus, we (the entire group will be quarantined as well). After this announcement Val ran around telling everyone if your kid gets the pox, keep your mouth shut! I rode up with a guy in the elevator earlier and I guess the situation has been escalated and the CDC is involved and a ruling is expected, etc. So, once again, keep your fingers crossed and remember us in your prayers. We are not home yet.

Now for the sad...
Yesterday was a memorable one for me, although unlike most of the memories I have gathered since arriving in China, this one wont leave me with a pleasant aftertaste.
I traveled with one of the families in our group to the city of Yangxi, about 180 K to the southwest of Guangzhou. Yangxi is where their little boy was abandoned and placed in the care of the local orphanage. We traveled by van through the country and arrived in town and spent about an hour visiting with the orphanage vice-director, touring a part of the orphanage, where their baby slept, and meeting some of the nannies that cared for him. Part of the tour included us walking through one of the rooms, with infants in their cribs. I have seen pictures and heard the stories of how the cribs are arranged in little islands for six to eight, but it is hard to be prepared for actually seeing this with your own eyes. Needless to say, it was not a good scene. The place was very sterile (but not in a clean way) and the poor little faces had very little if any expression on their faces. These were the same faces on our groups' children the day we received them and we have watched transform into happy little children over the last week and a half.
I will say that it appeared the nannies cared for the children (in their own way), but they obviously lacked much in way of personal contact. There were also some special needs children in the room and it was obvious that they needed more specialized care and support than what these poor women could provide.
The play area was basically void of toys and also very institutional-like. The kitchen where the bottles were prepared was also not great. I was told by our representative that this orphanage was not "the best", but not bad compared to where our little Helena spent the first 13 months of her life. I was so troubled by this scene as well as the scene I imagined my daughter endured while waiting for us. The mother of their new little boy (who has two beautiful daughters from previous trips to China), remarked to me "you see, this is why we came back for another one!"
I will say that there were a couple happy little souls, following us around and babbling to their nannies and no one looked malnourished. Also, the nannies were very happy to see their old "boarder" and they called out to him from the balcony (the boy and his father stayed down on the playground, so as not to traumatize him- but he was pretty cool about the whole ordeal). We were told by the vice director that they have had fewer and fewer babies available for adoption for the last three years. And most of the children they cared for would be adopted. We did not see older kids or any other people, other than this little group on our tour. China is changing very rapidly for the children these changes appear to be good for the children. There are more in-country adoptions, fewer people having kids, and with a middle class larger than the entire US population more couples can afford the roughly $30K fine to have more than one child. There also remains a strong demand for these little darlings- from Copenhagen to Kansas City.

Enough babble, we know you all tune in for the photos.
-Today was Red Couch picture day. This is a tradition at the White Swan. All of the newly adopted children sit on a red velvet couch in traditional Chinese dress for a photo. With 15 babies this is easier said than done.
-Val has already started teaching Helena about good oral hygiene (no dragon-breath in our family!)
-Helena with our "minders" Kathy and Jason (both very caring, gracious people)

Lanie and Friends

Well, as you can see, she is becoming a bit more social. She is rooting for Ruby to walk like a big girl and Reid is teaching her to play 21. We had a good day today, despite my cold. The days of having a pity-party for myself are over and I'll just suck it up and sing lullabies. Speaking of lullabies, I thought she would NEVER go to sleep tonight. We have been counting our blessings that she has been such a good sleeper, down by 7:30 and up at 7:00. However, tonight she thought that Mommy lying her back down thirty times was the most fun she's ever had... smiling at me the entire time. So, Daddy had to play bad cop and she FINALLY closed her eyes at nine. Time for us to do the same. Most of the families are ready to go home to their families and friends, including us. Just a few more days until the BIG appointment at the US consulate...keep us in your thoughts and prayers and thanks, as always, for the support.

Life at the Swan

A couple shots today. Helena, catching up on her reading...she has really started getting grabbie and loves to hold something in her hand (usually a cheerio in one and something else like her toothbrush or room key in the other). It took a couple days for her to have any interest in toys. Her item of choice was a teething biscuit, which she wouldn't eat, but just hang on to in her death grip. Also some smiles, when Helena and Mom played airplane today. Fun stuff.

In the world of Chinese adoption, hopeful parents don't talk about the stork, they talk about the Swan...The White Swan Hotel. The Hotel does a very tidy business, catering to adoptive families. The White Swan sits on a little island, surrounded by the Pearl River. In its heyday the island was home to many of the countries' consulates. Today, only the Polish consulate remains on the island, but it still has a very old, colonial feel to it. Some of the old buildings around here are beautiful old structures and some date back several centuries. Equally as impressive are some of the huge old trees- not sure of the varieties, but they have great, grand limbs that branch out like large banyan trees. In addition to the 711, where we buy our juice and beer (and where Justin was asked out front if he needed a "good time" one night), every little store attempts to Westernize itself with a name, like Lucy's Place (our lunch spot), Suzy's Place (they do our laundry), Michael's Place (decent folk art for sale), and Linda's Place (cheap t-shirts and souvenirs).
The White Swan is not that old. Built I'm guessing in the 60's or 70's it is considered a four star hotel (I think), and it obviously still carries some cache with the local populace. There is a constant stream of brides and photographers, shooting around the hotel. And the Chinese staying at the hotel seem fairly well-to-do. The hotel is packed with staff, all friendly and willing to help. Lots of security, door men and every floor has a floor attendant that greets you when you get off the elevator "hello, dis wey plees," Or "house da baybee?"

For us, and for dozens upon dozens of western couples, the Swan is home for up to two weeks, while the adoptions are finalized. We were fortunate to not have to pick up our daughter in another province and then have to relocate and come here. We will stay our entire trip in the White Swan, which makes things very easy and two weeks is long enough to get into a routine of sorts. Probably one of the most fun activities of the day is breakfast. We head down between 8 and 9 to eat our western style buffet. This time of day restaurant is a sea of little Asian babies. Quite a thing to see, parents of all shapes and sizes from all over the US and abroad doting on their new little angels. We greet many of the families in our group and check in on each of the children's progress. One of us feeds little Helena her breakfast of rice congee, bananas, watermelon and banana bread, while the other runs around gathering food for the nest. The rest of the day varies, depending on the activity, but we usually manage to get our little one down for a nap, get to the gym, hang out in the play room (where most of Helena's smiles appear), and visit the Koi pond and waterfall.

We continue to feel very luck with our little girl's progress. She sleeps very well (almost twelve hours a night), eats like a horse (not much you put in her mouth that she rejects), and amuse us with a little personality quirk (like kicking her little foot back and forth when she is being held and content). One thing Helena has not taken to is wearing diapers. She fusses quite loudly whenever we lay her down to check her diaper or change her clothes. And Val has taken to calling her "Complana" when its changing time.

It's all about the food

So, two breakthroughs today. First, Helena hung out with Justin for the entire morning. We decided enough was enough and just forced it a bit. He fed her breakfast while I played waitress to both of them from the buffet, and that seemed to work well. She was starving and didn't much care who fed her. As you can see from the pictures, she likes to eat, and eat, and eat. Then, she rode around in the baby sling with him like a trooper. Frankly, my back couldn't take much more so it was either that or walking....which she is reluctant to do.

This morning we toured around Guangzhou. We learned that there are over 70 million people in this province and nine million in this city, the fourth largest in China. We went to a Buddhist temple that was beautiful. We also went to a folk art museum and then did a little shopping at a shop with lovely jade, tea sets, water colors, and other items well-known in the region.

Second breakthrough: The afternoon started out a little shaky when Helena only napped for 45 minutes, then woke up cranky. So I had nothing to lose and took her downstairs to the playroom. The other parents were talking about their kid's hangups so it was nice to be in good company. She started out by leaning against me, then became interested in an Elmo toy...the first toy that has EVER sparked her interest. Then, lo and behold, she spotted a couple of books and toddled over to them like a drunken sailor and SMILED! I was so surprised, I almost cried. I thought this child would never smile, so serious all the time. Then she giggled and played for about 15 minutes, then it was over...but it was sure nice while it lasted. I called Justin in our room and said "get to the playroom, STAT" and I think he caught a little on video.

So that's about it. As a programming note, we cannot review this blog or read the comments, only post. But Tyler has been nice enough to send the comments by e-mail, and we do get e-mail so thanks for all the support. Very nice this far from home.

Where's Justin?

We have had a few comments and emails from our faithful viewers on why there are so few pics posted of the proud Papa and his little angel. Maybe the t-shirt I am having screen printed will explain it...the shirt reads "I went to China and all I got was this kid who hates me."
Honestly, it's not quite that bad, but our little 8.96 Kilos of joy does currently favor her Mommy over her Dad. Helena and I have had several serious conversations about it--over a handful of cherrios, and she assures me she is working on it.

There are several people in our group in the same boat. Most of the kids have taken to their Moms, and a few will only talk to Dad. One Dad had to move down an extra seat at breakfast this morning before their little one would allow him at the table. With us, when we are both around Helena would rather be in her Mom's arms. And that's ok, because Dad would rather be behind the camera rather than in front of it.

Today we had a couple fun little experiences. The first was in a local department store. The store was fine, but the way of securing your purchase was right out an episode of the reality show The Amazing Race. For this "roadblock" teams will have to buy four items. First you will go and select your item from one of four departments, then you will take your claim tickets to a central location to pay (using a credit card that may or may not be accepted), then you will return to the four departments, present your claim ticket (or the handful of claim tickets b/c you can't read which ticket is for which item), then the clerk will hand you the item and you can leave the store. If the clerk neglects to give you a claim ticket for an item you wanted to purchase (and you didn't know it b/c you can't read what she wrote on the ticket), you will then have to repeat the entire process again (including the possibility that your credit card will be rejected for no apparent reason on this second purchase). Whew, fun stuff with a irritable baby.

The 2nd experience was a physical examination, performed by a local doctor in the clinic. We forked over $80 dollars for a "doctor" to remove Helena clothes (I guess to make sure she was a human female child), weigh her, squeak a toy at her (hearing test), and generally traumatize her for any future doctor visits. Needless to say, she passed with flying colors. Oh, and I am seriously thinking about going to medical school in China (Pediatric Medicine, of course).

We topped the night off with the memorable experience of Helena's first and probably last bath (ever). I know, we really should have gotten that one on film, but cameras and slippery, screaming babies don't seem to mix too well.

And now...we wait.

Today was fussy baby day and we joined the ranks of new parents who talk about the baby's bowel habits all day. Finally, Helena feels better tonight after some prunes...enough said.

I think the picture of our new way of dining is a classic. Notice the sippy cups next to the fine china and the lovely baby carrier around my waist...glamorous. Tonight we had an entire group dinner with 15 families and their babies (yes, the restaurant put us in our own private room). We had pretty average Chinese food but there were tanks full of live water beetles, sand worms, toads, and even snakes in the lobby for the more adventurous; no takers.

We went to the police department today and applied for Helena's visa and tomorrow we get her passport picture taken. Nearly all of her paperwork has been started, all our money paid, and we wait for the U.S. Consulate appointment on the 24th. That is the most important and final step in getting her home as a U.S citizen. So for now we are in the area for the duration. Justin may go to an orphanage with another couple in a few days. Helena's orphanage is a seven hour drive and they have so far not encouraged the trip, but this couple's baby came from a city less than two hours away and he may go along for the experience.

We are emotionally closer to our girl every day, and she is warming up to us as well. I think her cold has her a little out of sorts, but she is sleeping peacefully after another full day; thankfully.

Helena is officially stuck with us.

Today all the families piled into the bus around 9:30am this morning and headed to the Adoption Registrant Office. We had two interviews. One with the registry official and one with the notary public. We were asked our occupation, if we were healthy, where we lived, how old we were, when we were married, and most importantly if we wanted this baby. Our "grace" period is over and Helena is officially our responsibility.

We met with the orphanage folks again this morning and "closed the deal." They were very nice and asked how Helena was getting along. I imagine this loss of their little ones is hard on them too. I had a picture taken with them, but kept them out of Helena's sight. She actually caught a quick look at one of them and it was amazing to see the recognition in her eyes. Val quickly distracted her and she settled down.

We feel pretty good about the fact that she is stuck with us. We have been with our little sweetie now for just over 24 hours. Things are progressing really well. Helena is a serious little kid, and she is still taking in this big change to her life. Every once in a while (but less and less as time goes by) she gets this look on her face as if to say "who are you, where am I and when am I going to wake up from this strange, strange dream." Right now she is sitting on her Mummy's lap, playing with her Ikea bowls, as Val reads her book.

All and all she is a very easy keeper. We feel very fortunate with her health right now. Aside from not yet having a b.m. (which in my mind isn't really a bad thing), she has lost her fever and her cough has diminished slightly. Several of the other families have not been so lucky. Several of our little ones are pretty sick with diarrhea and vomiting, and a couple went to see the doc at the clinic today. Medicine was distributed, so hopefully they will be on the mend.

Our little "family" of 41 is pretty awesome and we feel pretty luck to have all of them with us, during this experience. Everyone is very considerate and generous with there knowledge and spare bottles and toys. Helena will have lots of "sisters and brothers" to keep in touch with around the country. And closer to home, she will have a buddy right down the road in Alpine, Utah. Matt and Christi are here with us to adopt little Ruby Cai (photo included).

I will leave it at that, with some photos of the day. We continue to be enamored with this little bundle as we wait patiently for her to adjust to us. And I may have said it already, but I will say it again, thank God for cheerios.

Uh... I think we're parents

After over two and a half years of waiting, I can finally hear the soft gentle breathing of our daughter, sleeping peacefully behind me in her little crib. Wow, what an awesome feeling.

All and all the hand off went pretty smooth. We were the first of the group from Lian called, and we went up and knelt down as little Helena was led (walking) out to us. She took one look at us, and then back at her nanny, then back as us, and freaked. With all the crying and strange faces, she actually handled it pretty well. I will say, the secret to settling her were the cheerios. So far that has been her staple. She has a little fever and runny nose, but other than that seems very healthy. She is a feisty little soul. According to her caretakers she is not a big crier, but did have a rough time with the shock to her routine today.

All our families received their babies, and just like little humans everywhere, each reception was a little different. Some of the babies immediately took to their new moms and dads, one cried for a good solid hour and a half, but most seemed mildly freaked but willing to give these new strangers a try. Helena conked out as we started toward the bus and awoke a little happier. She refused a bottle but would eat cheerios soaked in milk and took a little apple juice. She is so tired and we put her down without a struggle about an hour ago. Hopefully, she will feel rested in the morning as we will begin the day as a family. We are in love.

Greetings from Guangzhou!

Thanks for your patience everyone. We know that not all of you are sitting by the computer waiting for an update, but we know that Grandma Pat and Nana Caroll are... so here you go. The trip has been very good and uneventful so far. We arrived in Hong Kong on Friday (Thursday for you) and had a couple of days there to get adjusted to the time change. However, most of us in our travel group still wake up at 4 AM sharp. Some even earlier! But we are pretty well-rested, considering. We were very fortunate that out flights were on time and our bags made it. Not everyone in our group was so lucky.
We toured Hong Kong yesterday and the weather was fantastic and nearly 70. As a group, we drove up to Victoria Peak, which overlooks the city; rode in a sampan around the harbor, had a wonderful lunch including dim sum, and then Justin and I explored a little on our own. We walked around with several million other people, wandered around a park with an aviary, and ended up watching the sun set over Victoria harbor ...pretty classic Hong Kong.
Our travel group has been really great and couples are from all over the US. Justin and I are one of the few that will be new parents, so we should be able to sponge advice from the experts around us.
The White Swan Hotel has lived up to it's name so far and must have been the crown jewel in its day. Smaller but comfortable rooms with a nice river view.
So tomorrow is the big day. We have seen a few new babies around the hotel and neighborhood and we just tear-up thinking about our next 24 hours. We will have a meeting in the morning and get ready to meet our babies in the afternoon (4 pm our time, middle of the night for you) . Our group's babies will travel by van from their orphanage in the very northernmost part of this province, so they may be tired and/or cranky after a seven hour journey. We just can't wait to finally have her in our arms. So you should wake up Monday morning with our "Gotcha Day" news. We can't believe this day is in our reach and we look forward to giving you great news tomorrow.

Bon Voyage!

Well, our bags are packed and we are almost out the door. We are very excited and very ready to do this. Except for a few sniffles, we both feel pretty good physically and mentally.

As we mentioned before, we have been overwhelmed with all the support and well- wishes from our friends, associates and our amazing families. We feel truly blessed for the gifts we have been given in this life. We are so thankful for each other, our families, our health, and this beautiful city (and country) we have come to be part of and that is truly part of us. There is great comfort in all of this, especially now as we prepare to bring our daughter home.

I feel compelled to share with you a little bit about the start Helena had in this life.

“Situation upon Entering the Orphanage”

“When the baby arrived at the orphanage, she was lying in a paper box. According to the physical exam conducted by our medical staff, her height was 51cm, weight 3.4kg. Her hair was wet and sticky, and she had a fair complexion. There was some cream-colored vernix caseosa around her neck. Her limbs were in sound form. Her umbilical cord was wet and had not yet fallen off. Her heart and lungs sounded normal during the exam. She was preliminarily declared a normal newborn. According to her physical development and the condition of her umbilical cord, her date of birth was estimated as November 15, 2006. We named her Lian Cai Yan.”

Our wish for Lian Cai Yan is for the next phase of her life to be her fresh clean start and our hope is that we can be there with her, every step of the way. She is not “our” child, but God’s, and it is our privilege for her to be entrusted to our care.

Go Time

We are busily packing and prepping. If it wasn't for the generosity of our friends, family and neighbors, we would be in dire shape. Everyone has been so helpful, we are a little overwhelmed with all the love and support. 

The big trip is now hours away. We leave for China this Wednesday afternoon. We fly to LA and then board a plane around 11:3opm, headed for Guangzhou, China, then we take a quick flight to Hong Kong to meet our travel group. We will hook up with them around 11am on Friday. It will only take us a day and a half in transit.  Our "gotcha day" is Monday- Sunday for you folks on this side of the date line!  Right now its a little unbelievable. But with every passing hour we feel that much closer to our little Helena James. 

  

How hard can it be?

What’s in a name? …Well, I’ll tell you. Too popular (number five this year as a matter of fact); Too many sharp edges; sounds like she’s speaking broken English; sounds like she’s got a speech impediment. Okay, how do you shorten that? Isn’t there a song about a transvestite named that? My favorite client’s girlfriend’s dog was named that; our neighbor’s dog is named that; do you know how many kids there are in so and so’s class named that? You’re kidding right? That’s a nice name for an 85 year old; with her middle name she sounds like a boy; sounds like we are trying too hard; that one’s taken by my sister; that one’s taken by your sister; the sixties are over; pretty, but she’s not Japanese she’s Chinese…
So, after several weeks/months of discussion, negotiation, consternation, re-evaluation…

It’s Helena James!


Not Helena, like the capital of Montana (although we love Montana).
But Helena, like the Saint, and Mother of Constantine, or like the Danish/Peruvian supermodel (we like her too).

Please say it with me, HEL-LANE-AHH

That’s our girl!